Wrecked Him; Darn Near Killed Him

A little while ago someone I know was mountain biking and had a pretty severe fall.

He hit hard enough that he required an epidural to control the pain. While he eventually recovered, he wasn't too clear on the words he was using. He went around telling people he had an episiotomy, rather than an epidural. His experience is like another story I heard....

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express
praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the
podium.

She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband,
Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely
crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if
they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the
congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have
experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went
on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the
doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able
to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire
around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time,
his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I
just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

Moral of the story? You tell me...